When I was a high school student in the conservative state Utah, I heard a lot of complaining that chivalry is dead from my female classmates. This note is merely a disclaimer, as it should be remembered that Utah culture tends to be permanently stuck in the 1950s, and I don't really know how other women feel.
As a woman, stuck in this 1950s time warp, I didn't really see a problem with that line of thinking. Hey yeah, it is a shame that there are no more knights in shining armor. It is a bummer that men don't open doors for ladies and pull out their chairs. But then as I grew up and saw a little bit more of the world and allowed my brain to develop in the post millennium Western culture, I saw the error of the way of thinking that so many of my lady peers are trapped in.
Now that many of these old classmates and friends of mine are married, several with children, I see how they fell for The Guy Who Opened Doors For Them now expects them to stay home and tend the house/children. That is Their Job. Honestly girls? Chivalry is merely the polite version of Chauvinism. Rather than a man throwing his coat over a puddle so a lady doesn't get her shoes wet, maybe the lady should wear shoes that reflect the outside condition. Rather than carrying his bride over the threshold, maybe the bride should walk, hand in hand with her groom, because (most of the time) she has able legs just like he does. Maybe SHE should carry HIM over the threshold (I certainly felt like it. rawr!). Perhaps men should realize that women really do have enough upper body strength to pull out and scoot in her own chair at a dinner party, and when a woman opens a door for a man, it's really REALLY rude to refuse to go in before her simply because "It's Not Done."
Chivalry is the enemy of feminism. At least, my kind of feminism - where women are treated as equal to men, not superior or inferior. Certainly there are differences dictated by genetics in general physique and brain wiring, but these are often generalities that don't apply to Everyone, just Most People. So if a woman wants to join the armed forces and fight on the front line, why should we stop her? Why aren't women forced to sign up for the draft as men are? Why won't 3/4s of the states ratify an amendment for equal rights? Instead of letting gender dictate who opens doors for whom, maybe the first person there should do the polite thing and hold the door open for those behind him or her. Maybe if someone looks like he or she can't pull out his or her own chair (maybe he or she is holding something prohibitive of using his or her arms for other tasks), an onlooker or partner should help him or her regardless of whether he's a guy or she's a girl.
It just really gets my goat. This rant today was sparked by someone on campus refusing to enter a door I opened because he was a gentleman and i am a lady. do i fuckin look like a lady to you, idiot? God, I try to be nice.
whatever.
The sooner chivalry dies for real, the closer we'll be to real equality.
